Worrywort

Growing up, before spelling tests or first days at school or new experiences or dates or meeting new people, my mom would implore me, "Please don't be a worrywart."  

According to Merriam-Webster, a worrywart is someone who worries or frets unduly. My grandmother was a worrywart. My sister is a worrywart. One of my best friends is a worrywart. They worry about EVERYTHING! Fortunately, I listened to mom's advice on this. I consider myself lucky. I don't worry excessively. Don't get me wrong, I do worry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not careless. But, I have a few ways to get me over my worry each and every day.

WHATCHU SAY? I've adopted two mantras that help me with my worry. The first is another phrase I learned from mom: It'll get better before you get married. She always said that if we got hurt or we were worried about something that had happened. Now that I am married, I substitute the thought: it'll get better before my nephew gets married. My second mantra is a quote from the movie Shakespeare in Love: Strangely, it all turns out well in the end. [How do you know? I don't, it's a mystery.] I have faith that it will all turn out exactly how it should turn out - whether I worry about it or not. 

WORRY LIST Of course I make a list! What is worrying you today? You may say EVERYthing, but are you really worried about everything? 

For the next week, I challenge you to write down exactly what you are worried about. Keep a little list on your six most important things sheet.  

I learned just this week that worry is connected to control. Most of the time when we worry, we live under the false assumption that we have control over it. In truth, we  don't! In fact, under each of your worries, I challenge you to write the answer to  these questions: If this were to happen, would I be able to handle it? How? List all the ways you could handle it.

For instance, if I were Henny Penny and I was worried, I'd write:

I am worried that the sky is falling.
Could I handle it? Yes How? Freak out. Freak out everyone else. Run to Farmer Ed's house. Find a hole to crawl in. Live to tell about it.

I have found that when I write down my worries, I learn two important things: what I value (my life, my safety, my pleasure, my family, my love) and what I fear (loss, grief, not being heard). Can you handle that? How?